Kudos to The Perimeter Primate

for her insights into the corporate hijacking of our public schools and the undermining of democracy under the guise of "philanthropy". Beware of billionaires bearing gifts.

...democracy in my city was pushed aside, permitting a set of wealthy
individuals (especially billionaire Eli Broad who inserted himself in the
management of Oakland Unified in June 2002) to acquire power over my school
district, and about the millionaires and billionaires who have gained control
of, and have infested, public education throughout our country under the guise
of “philanthropy” and “educational reform.” I am one of those who is repulsed by
this phenomenon.

Thanks Perimeter Primate. Here's a satirical piece I wrote about ole' Eli.

Wal-Mart EduNews

Through the Walton Family Foundation, Wal-Mart has awarded EduBuild USA's local affiliate in Charterville, Arkansas 1.2 million in grants to build at least 100 units of affordable housing for the families of low-income Wal-Mart associates. Across America, EduBuild USA recruits student volunteers from a pool of recent high school graduates of Wal-Mart funded charter schools. Volunteers receive training in construction work as well as an intense six weeks training in ethics and community-building.

In other EduNews, Wal-Mart is piloting a dental health program called Building Bridges in select locations in Arkansas and Texas. In exchange for enrolling their children who qualify for admission in private schools, associates who have all their teeth will receive one free cleaning and check-up as well as a $1200 school voucher paid in full by the corporation. Associates with missing teeth whose children qualify and enroll in private schools will receive a $2100 tuition voucher and may elect to have up to $125 per month withheld from their paychecks to build up a nestegg for needed bridgework. Wal-Mart hopes to eventually expand the program to include dental healthcare for the children of Wal-Mart associates.

(spoof)

Do Not Send Your Kids to Public Schools!

Why? Have a look at these shocking statistics:

**Fully half of all public school children score below average on standardized tests.

**An astonishing 89% of our nation's school-age children who are obese attend public schools.

**A whopping 94% of all urban crimes are commited within a 7 mile radius of a public school.

**At least 83% of all convicted felons below the age of 100 were at one time enrolled in a public school.

**Before the dawn of public education, eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia were virtually unheard of.

**In primitive tribal societies that have no public schools, there is an amazingly low incidence of cancer.

**According to private industry estimates, every day innumeracy in our public schools negatively impacts 6 out of 4 children.

**79% of wealthy televangelists surveyed, including Pat Robertson and Jimmy Swaggart, will attest that public schools are evil dens of secular humanism employing godless teachers.

And, perhaps most frightening of all:

**A far higher number of students who attend public schools rather than private schools will become axe murderers.

DOWN WITH PUBLIC SCHOOLS!

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Stephen Colbert - Not Enough Eyebrow Raising Sir!

I'm afraid our esteemed Secretary of Spin Margaret Spellings received only a gentle ribbing at best about the No Child Left Behind Act when she appeared yesterday on The Colbert Report. She made the usual dubious claims about the success of NCLB and blustered for the 9,999th time about "all children on grade level".

Don't ya wish lightning-quick-on-the-draw Colbert, catching her off balance, had fired something like this at her?

ARE WE THERE YET? ARE ALL OF AMERICA'S CHILDREN AVERAGE OR ABOVE?

As norm-referenced tests have given way to criterion-referenced tests, I suppose no one can really define "grade level" anymore. Even in the "norm-referenced days" when it was understood that by definition, nationally 50% of all students are always below grade level, it was an arbitrary thing.

But the absurdity stands, no matter the definition: No goal can be both challenging to all and achievable by all.

A Chicken Little Story

One day Chicken Little was walking in the woods when -- KERPLUNK -- a walnut fell on her head. She pecked the walnut open and inside was a note from the ED in '08 / Strong American Schools campaign.

"Oh my goodness!" cried Chicken Little. "There is a crisis in our public schools that threatens our nation's economic competitiveness! The Tests prove it! I must go tell the Congress."

Wise Old Owl was watching and wasn't fooled for a minute.

"Chicken Little, who is controlling you?" he asked. But she did not listen nor stop to think.

As she hurried on her way to the nation's capitol, Chicken Little met teacher Henny Penny and her students. Henny Penny said they were going on a field trip to the woods to learn more about the worms they loved to eat.

"There's no time for that!" cried Chicken Little. "I've received word that our schools are failing! Hurry back to class and prepare for The Tests." So Henny Penny and her little brood marched sadly back to class.

Chicken Little went on her way as fast as she could. Soon she met teacher Cocky Locky and his students. Cocky Locky said they were going on a field trip to the woods to learn about the seeds they loved to eat.

"There's no time for that!" cried Chicken Little. "I've received word that our schools are failing! Hurry back to class and prepare for The Tests." So Cocky Locky and his little brood marched sadly back to class.

Chicken Little hurried along as fast as she could. Soon she met teacher Turkey Lurkey and her students. Turkey Lurkey said they were going on a field trip to the woods to learn more about the berries they loved to eat.

"There's no time for that!" cried Chicken Little. "I've received word that our schools are failing! Hurry back to class and prepare for The Tests." So Turkey Lurkey and her little brood marched sadly back to class.

Chicken Little went along as fast as she could. Then who should appear but sly old Foxy Woxy.

"Where are you going, my fine feathered friend?" asked Foxy Woxy. He spoke in a polite manner so as not to frighten her.

"Our schools and teachers are failing us!" cried Chicken Little. "I'm on my way to warn the Congress."

"I know a shortcut to the capitol," said Foxy Woxy. "Come and follow me."

But wicked Foxy Woxy did not lead Chicken Little to the capitol. He led her right up to the entrance of his fox hole. Once they were inside, Foxy Woxy would gobble her up!

Just as Chicken Little was about to enter the fox's hole, they heard the sound of murmuring and stopped.

It was Wise Old Owl accompanied by a mass of wondrous animals of all kinds calling themselves 'We the Creatures'. The dogs chased Foxy Woxy away. How he ran across the meadows and through the forests, with the hounds close behind! He ran until he was far, far away.

"Who has been controlling you Chicken Little?" asked Wise Old Owl.

Chicken Little thought for a moment. "The ruling class?"

"Yes. Someone with connections to the ruling class dropped the walnut on your head," said Wise Old Owl. "Remember, just like Foxy Woxy, the ruling class wants to control you for its own selfish ends. I've sent word to Henny Penny, Cocky Locky, and Turkey Lurkey to resume their field trips and boycott The Tests. You must learn to think and question and so must the children in our schools."

After that day, if perchance -- KERPLUNK -- a walnut fell, Chicken Little didn't panic at all.

Anti-Public School Soap Opera Digest - Part 2

The Young and the Restless
The Young and the Tested to Death:

The Los Angeles Times reports that "California mandates testing every eighth-grader in algebra -- ready or not".

WHY?? Under the current oppressive regime of high-stakes testing, we are already witnessing a great surge of demoralized, disengaged students dropping out of school altogether.

Rather than lifting children up, respecting their differences, and expanding their opportunities for success, we are severely limiting their options and opportunities, pushing many right out of school. Why in the name of kindness do we insist that all children be able to achieve the same things?

While I am no big fan of IQ testing, I wonder if those who are imposing such one-size-fits-all mandates don't need to be reminded that approximately 50% of our nation's population have IQs below 100, with approximately 23% of that population having IQs ranging from 70 to 89?

The ruling elite of the ed reform industry (and it is indeed an industry) insist on challenging standards for all. But if all could meet the same challenging standards, the standards wouldn't be challenging would they?

Children are individuals. Attempts to standardize them will crush the hopes and dreams of many. All people are of equal value but their abilities, interests, gifts, and talents vary enormously. IQ tests and standardized tests in general do not measure what matters most in life. Our nation is made stronger and better by respecting, embracing and developing the vast diversity of gifts and talents our children present to the world. I believe the maniacal "standards and accountability" movement is sending us headlong in the opposite direction.

It is wonderful that some students can excel in Algebra and higher math - thank God for them. Our world needs them and their contributions are great. No doubt some professions and fields require such skills - but only a very few. Most Americans do not use algebra or higher math in their work or day to day lives. Good basic arithmetic covers virtually all of the important day to day math skills needed by the vast majority of Americans. Am I wrong here?

Learning is good for its own sake. Learning algebra, good in and of itself, should be an option, not mandatory.

Apologies for getting on my soapbox with this "soap opera" entry. Just can't help myself and I am reminded of the following scriptures as an analogy. A footnote in my NIV Bible notes that these scriptures were apparently addressed to believers who felt that their gifts were inferior and unimportant while the more spectacular and showy gifts like speaking in tongues had been glorified in the Corinthian church. Regardless of one's particular faith or beliefs, I think this analogy works well for those of us who oppose standardization:

1 Corinthians 12: 14-26

Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.