Friday, June 13, 2008

Reverend Al and Hip Hop Nursery Rhyme

In honor of opportunist civil rights leader Al Sharpton, who joins a distinguished panel of ed reformers whose message is backed by billionaire philanthropists with an agenda. Note the ED in '08 signers.


O hippity hippity hop
bounds Reverend Al to the flock
of wolves who posture as sheep!

Great wealth commandeering

high-stakes engineering
best democracy money can buy
we are positioned as saviors!

Crush them, blame them,
tighten the screws
frame the debate
public education will lose.

High-stakes testing
convenient device
we demand accountability
in a smothering vise!

Predetermined failure
the kids need a savior
we are defenders of the poor!

We're corporate messiahs
offering choice long denied you
privately run "public" schools
and freedom to innovate!

O hippity hippity hop
a culture of fear and control
on we go, imposing our way
controlling the masses
for the children's good we say!


OK, not so good. But it's the message.





Sunday, June 8, 2008

Fantastic Value: Made to Order Educational Research!

Reversible Necklines and Educational Research On The Go....

Welcome to my blog! I'm starting my own made-to-order educational research business. Have an ideology? Tell me your agenda and I'll craft a study to advance it. I'm hoping this will eventually evolve into my own Think Tank. Please send $10.00 before you continue reading (just kidding....keep reading free of charge).

Actually, I've already completed my first study in record time. My Growth Model analysis uses rigorous, scientifically-based dieting principles and expertly extrapolates the findings to education.

Not only that, as you will see, my study is reversible, much like a sporty tank top with a V-neck front and a flattering boatneck back for a different look. To keep reading, send another $10.00.

Put simply, the most consistent finding in diet research can be summarized with the following equation:

Excess Calories In + Lack of Physical Exercise = Weight Gain

Similarly,

Overdose of Drill and Skill Test Prepping + Lack of Active, Authentic Learning = Brain Drain

Weight Gain and Brain Drain...note the rhyme, which obviously lends even more credibility to my study. And, as I noted earlier, my study is reversible:

Fewer Calories + Physical Exercise = Weight Loss

And,

Reduced Test Prepping + Active Learning and Projects = Engaged Students/Real Learning

There. I saved our taxpayers millions in needless research. You didn't forget the $20.00 did you?

Two Accounts Concerning International Test Comparisons: Same Lesson

Pick a politician - left, right, or in between. When it comes to public education, you can bet dollars to donuts you'll hear them sounding the alarm that our ability to compete in the 21st Century Global Economy is in peril as evidenced by international test comparisons.

Here educational consultant Keith Baker observes that decades after the first international test was administered in 1964, it is possible to actually test the long held assumption that "our low test scores will adversely affect our ability to compete economically on the world stage."
The fact is that the higher a nation's test scores are, the worse that nation performs in the economic world. The most successful nations are low scorers.

Altogether, I found 61 measures on which to compare the economic performance of the USA in 2003 to the nations that had higher scores in 1964. If the theory that low scores lead to economic failure is correct, all, or at least most, of these comparisons would favor the higher scoring nation. Not so. The USA comes out on top in 74% of the comparisons, beyond question the premier economic competitor in the world.

Since the false assumption that high test scores are good for the economy has been behind educational reform for decades of efforts to raise test scores, we must now worry about having gone in the wrong direction.

It is wise counsel to 'never assume a conspiracy when stupidity will suffice', but I have seen some impressive arguments that conservatives are engaged in vast right wing conspiracy - vouchers, home schooling, restrictive funding, layman control- to destroy the public schools. Note that the raising test score craze, including its main program, NCLB, support that conspiracy theory.

Fellow contrarian Gerald Bracey of EDDRA (Education Disinformation Detection and Reporting Agency) disagrees with Baker, not about the harmful obsession with standardized testing, not about the canard that our economic competitiveness is tightly linked to how well students score on standardized tests, but because Baker "assumes that, in fact, there IS a relationship between test scores and economic security."
I think it's more due to the 12 pillars of competitiveness as listed by the World Economic Forum in its annual Global Economic Competitiveness report 2007-2008 (we're #1, have been for quite a while, and because of the 25 or so personal qualities that tests don't measure that I provide in Reading Educational Research: How to Avoid Getting Statistically Snookered. Especially creativity, which, as Bob Sternberg keeps pointing out, is a victim of our obsession with testing.
Whether one agrees with Baker or Bracey (or some combination of their views), the lesson to be learned is the same. False assumptions have driven educational reform for decades.

I think it's important that a critical distinction be made between the appropriate and limited use of standardizes tests and their overuse and misuse. Place too much credence in them and you lose any benefit that might otherwise have been gained from them. Attach life-altering consequences to them and they're positively destructive. I think schools could live without standardized tests completely and suffer no harm.

Yet it is their misuse that is wreaking havoc and destruction in our public schools. I like to use a medical model to drive the point home. When a doctor prescribes a drug for a patient, it can help if used as the physician directs. But if the drug is abused, it can be destructive, even deadly.








Saturday, May 31, 2008

Margaret Spellings Aids Promotion of New Line of Barbie Dolls and Accessories

(spoof)
Unstoppable U.S. Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings is at it again. On hand today with representatives from top toy manufacturer Mattel, Spellings curtailed her trips around U.S. cities promoting charter schools long enough to announce the launch of a distinctive new line of Barbie dolls and accessories being manufactured specifically to appeal to poor and minority children as well as poor white trash children.

"From the Projects and Trailer Parks to the Ivy Leagues" is the motivational theme of the new line, which promotes the bright line testing and accountability provisions of the No Child Left Behind Act, President Bush's signature domestic achievement.

Spellings, sporting rectangular tortoise shell glasses and her trademark sassy blond haircut, raved over the line's distinctive Ivy League Apparel, an array of t-shirts, hooded sweatshirts, caps, polos, totes, and backpacks, along with tiny digital cameras and chat-with-me picture phones. In Spellings' honor the new Barbie line offers a selection of fashion eyeglasses in assorted colors, including half-frames.

Accessories include Charter Heights Dream School complete with awesome school house furniture and tiny test taking paraphernalia: standardized test booklets, practice test booklets, scantrons, test preparation flash cards, and number 2 pencils.

Test marketing indicates that by far the most compelling accessories are the tiny interactive computers (including laptops!) which actually allow children to listen, learn, and interact while Barbie and friends practice their test-taking skills. Spellings appeared to get a special kick out of pressing Barbie's tummy and hearing her recite the components of the six step writing process in addition to other vital test-taking tips.

"Well, this is the cutest Barbie stuff I've ever seen!" marveled Spellings. "Enough with curvaceous plastic molds who don't know the flippin' main idea from the supporting details!"

The new Barbie line will feature both Black and White dolls and will debut in the fall in selected Walmart stores around the country.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Swimming Upstream....












The 21st Century Global Economy?

Standardization.

No.

Children. Each a unique individual worth more than all the material possessions in the world. And wonderfully resistant to being standardized.

Keep on loving the children and keep on swimming upstream!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Shreddin' the Oldies: Test Security and Ticker Tape Parades

(spoof)
Press Release

With standardized test security a national priority and triumphal ticker tape parades almost a thing of the past, multi-tasking Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings announced today an unusually practical, innovative, and culturally meaningful solution to both problems.

Faced with the pressing need for secure disposal of the estimated 2,583,440,250 standardized tests taken annually in the nation's k-12 schools as a result of the yearly testing requirements of the No Child Left Behind Act, the federal Department of Education has contracted with D C Shredding and Baling Services, a document destruction company formerly owned by Vice President Dick Cheney. A world leader in information destruction and reduction, the company's U.S. team boasts an impressive fleet of mobile shredding trucks that will service all 50 states. The units will transport the shredded waste to centralized processing facilities housing industrial balers, with final transport of the 25 lb. confetti bales to New York City for use in annual televised "ticker-tape" parades to celebrate the march toward all children performing average or above on standardized tests.
Preparing students for their roles in the 21st Century Global Economy has been my highest priority as Secretary of Education. With only months before my term as Secretary expires, what better way for me to leave office than with the inauguration of an annual cultural event to celebrate and commemorate the achievements taking place in education since the ascendancy of my friend George Bush to the presidency.
Asked to comment, an obviously delighted mayor Bloomberg added, "We also envision showering test confetti over the financial district from hot air balloons."

Pressed by a reporter about the unthinkable, Spellings was asked about the potential for leaks to the public about what is on the tests.
There will be no Shreddergate. All D C Shredder employees undergo scrupulous background checks and weeks of intensive security training.









Saturday, April 26, 2008

Thank you, Carl Chew

Seattle public school teacher Carl Chew has refused to administer the WASL test to his students. You can find his story and other links here.

Thank you sir for acting upon the strength of your convictions. May the floodgates open to further acts of civil disobedience against the oppression, malpractice, and corporate-serving opportunism of high-stakes testing in our children's public schools. Like so many, I wish I could join you but I'm in no position to risk my job. Still, if enough of us band together...I long for the day and I believe the storm is gathering....

Faith is taking the first step, even when you don't
see the whole staircase. Martin Luther King, Jr.